Post Tagged with: "zombies"


The Walking Red: The Truth about Florida’s “Zombie” Cover-up

  Over the past two years, Florida has been the scene of a series of violent and unusual attacks. These incidents have led to nationwide speculation as to the presence of zombies in the Sunshine State. After an exhaustive investigation into the story, it is now clear that Florida Governor Rick Scott and former Governor Jeb Bush are engaging in a disturbing and potentially deadly cover-up. The “zombie” attacks were not perpetrated by creatures from a horror movie or even […]

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Just As Predicted, Obamacare Implementation Causes Citizens to Crave Human Flesh

Thousands of almost identical reports have surfaced of people simply eating breakfast, reading the paper, and then going online to shop for health insurance before eventually gnawing on a family member’s or roommate’s skull.

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Mitch McConnell Courts the Zombie Vote

The interesting fact is that Mr. Perry had been dead for seven weeks prior to the donation. The GOP doesn’t see this as a problem unless it’s a Democrat or Gay Zombie giving donations to their causes or their PACs.

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TwinkieGate Investigator Probes Obama About Little Debbie Affair

Popular food-like snack company Hostess announced that they are ceasing production of their iconic treats. Shocked Americans demand answers! Is the post-election timing just a coincidence? Or is there a greater conspiracy brewing?

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Republicans Caught Creating Fake Polling Stations

This is the most blatant attempt by Republicans to disenfranchise liberal voters, however it is far from the only instance.

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GOP Celebrates New ‘PreSin’ Pregnancy Prevention Pill

On Monday, the FDA gave final approval to the financially troubled KV Pharmaceutical for their “Afternoon-Before” pregnancy prevention pill. The pill, referred to as “PreSin” works by suppressing sexual desires prior to engaging in a sexual act.

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Facebook Buys InstaBaby for $3 Billion

Facebook surprised Wall Street insiders today when it purchased the upstart app Instababy for an estimated $3 billion.

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Florida Governor Plans to Use Fear of Zombies to Suppress Voter Turnout

A memo leaked by a source inside of Florida Governor Rick Scott’s office details how the Florida State Republican Party plans to use the fear of zombies to scare people in selected areas of the state into staying home on election day.

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