Post Tagged with: "Pope"


90% of Catholics Morally Oppose Things They Personally Find “Pretty Damn Awesome”

A newly released survey by the Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life extensively examined current attitudes of U.S. Roman Catholics on various issues of the day.

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Ancient Documents Show That Eve Feuded With Adam Over Fishing Trips With “Friend” Steve

Eve did not like Steve’s constant innuendos regarding his “snake”, and she even suggested that maybe Adam and Steve weren’t even fishing at all. Scholars remain puzzled at the discovery.

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Sistine Chapel Smoke Is False Alarm: Just Cardinals Relieving Their Glaucoma Symptoms

Jubilant followers of the Papal Conclave were ecstatic this morning when smoke already began to billow from the Sistine Chapel.

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God Has Chosen New Pope In Most Dramatic Rose Ceremony Ever

Word has leaked from blogger Reality Steve that God has chosen the next pope. After much pontiff-icating, God has selected the man whom we are told may not have originally been the most pope-ular choice.

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Popemobile Listed For Sale on Vatican Craigslist

With the retirement of Pope Benedict XVI all but certain, savvy internet users have alerted the Free Wood Post to a recent posting found on vatican.craigslist.org which is believed to refer to the most recent Popemobile.

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Fears Of Church Takeover By Facebook As Pope Resigns

“If you look more closely, you’ll see some curious parallels between the two – both started by Jewish guys with a knack for starting mass movements, phenomenal global reach, etc. This is one to watch.”

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Pope Benedict XVI Resigning Papacy To Coach Football At Penn State

The Vatican announced that Pope Benedict XVI will being leaving Rome and head to Pennsylvania to begin getting ready for next years football season as head coach of the Nittany Lions.

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Vatican: The Catholic Church Being ‘Persecuted’ For Child Rapes and Cover-ups

In an interview published recently in Germany’s leading newspaper, Archbishop Gerhard Ludwig Mueller claimed that the Catholic Church is being persecuted today as the Jews in Europe were persecuted during World War II.

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Pope Asks That People Not Pray As Often And Only For Important Things

Pope Benedict XVI shocked the entire Catholic world yesterday when he proclaimed that the act of prayer has been becoming much more ineffective due to overuse.

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Catholics Upset About Latter Day Taint

Catholic Church officials are furious that the canonization of Pope John Paul II has been derailed from its well-planned schedule. It has come to light that sometime in the summer of 2008, agents at the Provo Utah Temple posthumously baptized the former pontiff and claimed him for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

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