Archive for Category: "Sorta True"


Howard Schultz Reveals Selling $5 Cups Of Coffee Proves Many Gullible Enough To Vote For Him

In a political climate where just about any old white male billionaire thinks those features alone are enough to qualify for the presidency, former Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz believes his chances are pretty good. 

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Woman Who Married For Fame And Cash Doesn’t Want Others To Play By Her Rules

“So many take advantage of way I came to US to make money, and now they want piece of pie. It my pie.”

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Republicans Reveal Greatest Threat Is Counting And Math

“We’d win every time if it weren’t for those darn numbers.”

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Trump To Eliminate Birthright Citizenship; Finally Have Excuse To Deport Eric

To be honest, his reasoning does make a lot of sense. It will be interesting to see if Trump will get away with shredding the 14th Amendment of the Constitution.

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Known Racist Megyn Kelly Not Sure Why People Are So Surprised She’s Still Racist

“I don’t know why they’re so surprised I would say something like this. It wasn’t like I ever hid my racism.”

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Jeff Flake Unable To Find Spine With Lips Still Firmly Attached To Trump’s Ass; Obstructs View

Thankfully, Flake will be leaving the United States Senate after this term, but a team of surgeons will be flown into Washington DC who are well versed in lips to ass attachment.

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Jordan Peterson Wonders If Women Are Even People At All, Insinuates They May Just Be Holograms

In what may be Jordan Peterson’s most bizarre assumption of late, he’s now insinuating that women aren’t even people at all, but are actually holograms created by a Marxist governmental sub-system designed to get in the way of full male potential to dominate the world stress-free. 

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Paul Ryan To Endorse Hillary Clinton

Good on Ryan for putting the nation before his party.

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First Gender Verification Officers Deployed to Enforce NC’s Bathroom Bill

It had to happen sooner or later.

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Fuck

There’s really nothing left to say.

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