Trump Will Send 1 Million Rakes To Help Combat Australian Bushfires

In a rare display of generosity Trump announced today that he will be sending one million rakes to help Australia combat the catastrophic bushfires that are currently decimating the country.

Trump announced it during a joint press conference with Turkey’s president Erdogan:

“Today I’d like to announce that we’re sending one million rakes to combat the fires in Australia which are really bad. Some of the worst I’ve ever seen in Australia. I know that Hitler was from Australia and that is, maybe in part because, a reminder that we must help our Australia allies. I’ve told Governor Newsom in California repeatedly that he’s not doing enough raking in California, and perhaps that is why so many wildfires keep happening.

Trump previously stated that Finland doesn’t have a problem with wildfires because they rake, and California should do the same.

“You gotta take care of the floors. You know the floors of the forest, very important… I was with the President of Finland… he called it a forest nation and they spent a lot of time on raking and cleaning and doing things and they don’t have any problem.”

As usual parts of his statement rambled on, and he incorrectly claimed Hitler was born in Australia when Hitler was actually born in Austria. When asked if he would like anything in return for the aide Trump responded

“I want nothing, I want nothing, I want No Quid Pro Quo, just tell (Prime Minister) Morrison to do the right thing. They should really look into Biden’s son though. Who knows what’s going on there but I would encourage Australia to look into it. I mean, something isn’t right there. I’d hate for Australia to not receive these rakes for not investigating the Bidens, which I would never do because there is no quid pro quo, which I now realize is not a type of squid.”

President Erdogan was asked if he also plans on sending rakes to combat the wildfires, which he responded to by laughing until President Trump was forced to abruptly end the press conference. Trump’s supporters are already praising this latest move, saying it proves once again that Trump is happy to aide countries that need it, as long as their citizens are predominantly white.


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