Trump To Eliminate Birthright Citizenship; Finally Have Excuse To Deport Eric

While everyone is upset, and rightfully so, that Donald Trump is making remarks that he’s going to end birthright citizenship under certain circumstances, no one has really thought about why he actually may be doing it.

Sure, many assume it’s because of the caravan of those migrating to the border to seek asylum. However, asylum is legal at port of entries, so that surely can’t be it.

We here at Free Wood Post and our investigative team of journalists sat down with Trump to asking him why he would make such a broad and unconstitutional move. The answer he gave us was actually perfectly Trumpian and self-serving — He wants to finally, and once and for all, deport his son Eric.

Trump said:

“I know as well as anyone that he’s a disaster. I mean, look at him. I don’t know what genes those are. They certainly aren’t mine. I’m pretty sure he might even be adopted. But I don’t know. So, since I have the power to end birthright citizenship under certain circumstances, that circumstance is, I don’t want Eric near any of my businesses in America anymore. I want him gone. Outta here. I don’t even want to look at his face. I’m going to renounce his citizenship and get him the hell out of here. That’s what I’m talking about here people. Everyone in the fake media speculating why I would say such a thing. I mean, if you had the chance to get rid of one of your messes of a child, wouldn’t you do it, too? Everyone will thank me later. You’ll see. I’ll go down as the greatest president in history.”

To be honest, his reasoning does make a lot of sense. It will be interesting to see if Trump will get away with shredding the 14th Amendment of the Constitution. Only time will tell.


Featured image by Gage Skidmore

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