Jeff Flake Unable To Find Spine With Lips Still Firmly Attached To Trump’s Ass; Obstructs View

In an ongoing trend of events, Sen. Jeff Flake (R-AZ) has been saying one thing but then doing the exact opposite. He’ll criticize Donald Trump, but then fall in line and vote for every single policy placed before him to further the president’s agenda.

The most recent example of Flake’s inability to follow his words with actions was in his vote to confirm Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court after firmly stating his concern over the appointment by Trump and Kavanaugh’s behavior.

It’s happened so many times now that we here at Free Wood Post looked for a scientific explanation because no one can be that purposefully inconsistent without actually being either dumb as a box of rocks or made of pure evil.

Here’s what we found out: It looks as though Flake has been unable to find his spine and vote to follow through with his words because his lips are literally attached to Trump’s ass, thus obstructing his view. This explains the lack of spine discovery. It also explains why Flake keeps voting with Trump on absolutely everything.

Thankfully, Flake will be leaving the United States Senate after this term, but a team of surgeons will be flown into Washington DC who are well versed in lips to ass attachment. Hopefully, at that point, Flake will be able to rediscover his spine, think for himself, and regain the ability to follow through with this words.

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