Ted Nugent Admits His Guns Make Up For Having Remarkably Small Dick

In what can only be described as stating the obvious, washed up rockstar and gun enthusiast Ted Nugent has made a startling, yet not at all surprising announcement.

Nugent has never backed down from a good gun debate, always siding with guns over safety, common sense and reality. He’ll tell anyone who doesn’t think a gun belongs in every hand that they’re somehow more inferior. However, this recent interview actually reveals that Nugent has been the inferior one all along.

While talking with Rush Limbaugh about who he’s backing for President of the United States, Nugent went off on a tangent about guns and why he feels the need to own several, as well as why he wants a president who understands his need for guns.

“I just can’t stand these liberal elites telling me and my pals that we can’t own guns. Who the hell are they anyway? I need my guns and I need a president who understands my need for guns. Maybe these commie punks have big schlongs, but I don’t, and neither does my pick for president, Ted Cruz. He understands what it’s like to go through life with a tiny prick and needing guns to make up for it. It is what it is. How the hell else are we supposed to do it? So fuck all these whiny lib jerks and their giant dicks. Not all of us are as blessed as they are.”

Limbaugh then cut to commercial, but before it went completely to the advertisement for male erectile dysfunction meds, you could hear Limbaugh tell his producer, “what the hell is this guy doing, he’s gonna make us all look like we have tiny dicks.” And maybe they do. Who knows,  really? And who really wants to be the one to find out? Gross.

At least Nugent was honest for once, so that’s something positive to come out of the interview.

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