NRA Outraged President Obama Wants Fewer People To Die

With nothing getting guns to sell faster than a mass shooting, NRA Vice President Wayne LaPierre is utterly outraged that President Obama would want to curb these violent shootings from happening.

Directly after the president announced that he wants to keep guns out of the wrong hands, enforce gun laws, and help those with mental illness, LaPierre released a statement airing his grievances against Obama.

“It is with utter disgust that I bring to you this statement. President Obama has just announced that he wants to keep guns out of the wrong hands. Who’s hands are wrong? No hands are wrong. Every hand with a gun in it is a dollar to be made. Why does the president hate business owners just tying to make a buck, or hate God-fearing Americans trying to shoot a buck? If a person with mental illness wants to own a gun, that is their right as an American. We should just be prepared to fight back when they snap and enter a movie theater, mall, or elementary school, and arm everyone. Gun laws are for people who obey the law. That’s not who we are here at the NRA. We don’t promote safety here, we promote sales. How’s it going to look with fewer people dying. People won’t think they need guns. Sales will plummet and I won’t be able to take my annual trip to Cabo. We need to rise up against these outrageous actions that President Obama wants to impose on us. We don’t need him to help us stay safe. We need God and guns! More guns!”

The rest of the statement was in ALL CAPS, and unintelligible, so we figured we’d just cut it off there, but you likely get where he was going with that.

President Obama is likely to ignore the NRA outrage and stick to doing the right thing by the American people — whatever he can, within his powers, to make America a safer and better place to live.

Featured image: Gage Skidmore (flickr)

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