Scott Walker Drops Out Of Presidential Race, Crushing Hopes and Dreams of 0% of Voters


Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker announced Monday that he is dropping out of the GOP presidential race, crushing the hopes and dreams of 0% of voters. This surprising move leaves a host of other candidates scrambling to gain his endorsement to secure the vote of Governor Walker’s mother and his Uncle Ray.

“I know that I am upsetting two people that I love dearly, but while we have been gaining momentum, it just wasn’t building rapidly enough. Perhaps I should have said something out loud during one of the debates, but everyone knows hindsight is 20/20. It also hurt that Rick Perry and I seemed to be splitting the same block of voters.”

Walker had been polling solidly at 0% with a margin of error of 2 percent, so while some claim he may have had support of nearly 2%, he could have just as easily been correctly polling at -2%.

No Walker supporters could be located for for questioning regarding the stunning move.

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Image: Wikimedia Commons


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