Hillary Clinton: ‘It’s Time to Break the Ass Ceiling’

Ass Ceiling

No one can say that former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton minces words. Speaking to supporters at an Iowa fundraiser, Clinton spoke of the challenges faced by women seeking leadership roles. “For too long women have been faced with moronic and unnecessary barriers to positions of leadership. I believe in the power of women and I am ready to do my part to help destroy those barriers. It’s time to break the Ass Ceiling.”

Long considered the toughest obstacle for any female politician, The Ass Ceiling will not be an easy impediment to overcome. Created in large part by a conflux of unevolved white conservative males, the Ass Ceiling has been solidified by their repeated efforts to demonstrate their “respect” towards women. Take South Carolina Senator Thomas Corbin who explained why it was okay to mock women, “Well, you know God created man first. Then he took the rib out of man to make woman. And you know, a rib is a lesser cut of meat.” Or consider presidential hopeful Donald Trump’s recent tweet: “If Hillary Clinton can’t satisfy her husband what makes her think she can satisfy America.” These types of asinine comments were the norm for New York Senator Kirsten Gillibrand who dealt with frequent inappropriate comments about her weight and looks from fellow Senators. Of course many politicians don’t think women have the capability of doing difficult work. Take Senator Rick Santorum who expressed that a woman’s emotions would keep her from being able to critical decisions. To be fair there are also a number of Asses on the left side of the aisle as well: “We in the Senate refer to Senator Gillibrand as the hottest member.” -Senator Harry Reid (D-Nev.) Let’s face facts, when it comes to politicians in Washington, there are “binders” full of Asses.

According to Representation 2020, the U.S. ranks 95th in the world in the number of women holding major political office. Only 20 of 100 Senators are women and only 84 of 435 members of the House of Representatives are women. There are also only 6 female Governors. These facts are true even though women represent 50.8% of the population in the United States. We will need to wait until November of 2016 to see whether Clinton will succeed in breaking the Ass Ceiling. A Clinton victory will go a long way towards giving the Asses the kick they deserve.


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Orbson Rice is the author of the book “Exposing My Orbs: The Rise of a Liberal Satirist” and the “Creator” of the blog “The Orbson Oracle” which is thoroughly offensive, often thoughtful and occasionally funny. Stroke your mouse and visit the Oracle to read more or befriend him on Facebook.

Individual Photos By: Marc NozellMichael VadonKent Williams


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