Neighborhood Craft Store To Ban Erectile Dysfunction Meds From Insurance


Citing religious theology and reasoning, an area craft store will no longer hold insurance policies that cover male erectile dysfunction. Including, but not limited to, such drugs as Viagra and Cialis, as well as penis pumps.

“We believe it’s our freedom of religion to keep men from having erect penises,” said Crafty Crafterson Warehouse President Susie McSusie. “If they feel they need to bone up, that can be on their own dime, but it says right here in my religious text that if a penis is flaccid, that is the way the creator intended it to remain. It usually means a man has come down from his peak and is no longer useful to society. Our text also says that every sperm is sacred and must never EVER be spilled other than into a woman or a test tube for later use. We feel very strongly about our case and hope that our male employees understand, and the government keeps out of the business of protecting its citizens. Business and profit come first. This is America after all.”

Crafty Crafterson Warehouse’s case is set to reach the Supreme Court sometime next month. Many hope the religion of private citizens and businesses can go hand in hand so it removes all lines and barriers. This includes the ability for the government to go after the personal assets of the business owners who now draw no distinction between their personal life and their business life, just because they want the ability to control others.

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