Texas GOP Re-writes Bible to Include Elephant at the Birth of Christ


Certainly Texas is no stranger to attempting to re-write history. The state is at the forefront of the creationist movement to ban evolution and teach Intelligent Design in all public schools. But their latest quest to spin history and the reasons behind it are outright insane.

Republican Reps. Louie Gohmert and Pete Sessions have co-sponsored a Bill to insist that any representations of the Nativity scene, whether it be in a book, film or public display on a private citizen’s lawn must include the depiction of an elephant.

Their reasoning would be hilarious if it weren’t so frightening at the same time. The basic premise of the bill is that most traditional Nativity scenes have several animals present at the birth of Christ. They vary from time to time but the standard characters are sheep, camels, donkeys and an occasion ox. All of these animals would have been common in Bethlehem at the time. Their dispute is with the depiction of a donkey.

According to Gohmert: “For too long the liberals have pushed their agenda by showing a donkey at the birth of our Lord and Savior. As we all know the donkey is the symbol of the Democratic Party. If there was a donkey, than there was an elephant too.”

The problem with his argument is that neither the Republican nor Democratic parties existed during the time of Christ. So, the idea that the presence of a donkey is some vast liberal conspiracy dating back almost two thousand years is preposterous.

Rep. Pete Sessions reasoning is even more outlandish: “Look, often one of the wise men is depicted as black. That would mean that he came from deepest darkest Africa. Of course he would have ridden an elephant there. It’s not fair to have a donkey and not an elephant”

The truth of the matter is Republicans are so set on pushing their own agenda that they will re-write the Bible itself to support their crazy ideologies. The Bill’s language is vague enough that, should it pass, the Bible would have to be re-written to conform to the new law.

Who’s to say, maybe there was an elephant at the nativity? According to their Intelligent Design theories that they are already teaching young minds, dinosaurs walked the earth at the same time. So who is to say there wasn’t a T-Rex at the birth of Christ? Maybe that’s why we don’t know the names of the three wise men. They were never able to write their own accounts because they were eaten by a marauding pack of Velociraptors.

The point is, you can believe whatever you want to believe, but to write a bill that would essentially re-write history for the sake of pushing your own political agenda is not only crazy; it should be criminal.

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