Arizona’s Gov. Brewer Announces Adopt-a-Gun Program


A Public Disservice Announcement:

Somewhere in Phoenix, Arizona a lonely AK-47 awaits its execution. Feeling alone and unwanted, covered in dust and grime it gazes out into a future that it knows it will never see. Only four years old, this heartbroken AK-47 was abandoned by its owners at a “Turn in Your Gun” event. Its fate? Destruction. Soon it will have its very essence violently torn away by the hands of liberal heathens. The promise it once held, the purpose it was meant to fulfill, will never be realized. Alone at night it dreams of fulfilling its destiny. Of exploding through the flesh of trespassers, of penetrating the carcasses of animals or of simply shooting a bothersome neighbor. For now the AK-47 has no hope, but you can make all of the difference to this poor little gun. Thanks to Governor Jan Brewer and Arizona’s new Endangered Guns Protection Act, our little AK-47 can know the joy of shooting once again.

For only $1 a day, less then the price of a forty of Old Milwaukee, you can adopt young AK-47 or one of the thousands like it. Within days it will be cleaned, cared for and delivered to its new home. Because when it comes to our guns, our most precious commodities, no background check will ever substitute for an owner who loves to shoot. So please, look inside your heart and ask yourself, isn’t a dollar a day worth the life of an AK-47.Call and adopt your gun today, at 1-800-253-0883.


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Orbson Rice is the author of the book “Exposing My Orbs: The Rise of a Liberal Satirist” and the “Creator” of the blog “The Orbson Oracle” which is thoroughly offensive, often thoughtful and occasionally funny. Stroke your mouse and visit the Oracle to read more or befriend him on Facebook.

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