God Rooting for Alabama

HEAVEN – College football observers were taken by surprise Sunday when God announced that s/he would be rooting for the Alabama Crimson Tide to defeat the Notre Dame Fighting Irish in the college football championship game.

“I realize that people were probably expecting me to support Notre Dame,” the deity said through a burning bush. “But frankly I think Notre Dame plays that up too much and needs to be taken down a peg or two.”

Notre Dame coach Brian Kelly disputed that, claiming to not even know the school’s religious affiliation.

“We’re a Catholic school?” Kelly said. “Oh, (expletive), I gotta watch my language.”

The announcement was not expected to affect the betting odds on the game.

“Every living person was picking Alabama anyway,” Las Vegas oddsmaker Johnny Avello said. “This is an unusual twist but won’t impact the spread.”

“I hope this will finally answer the question ‘Why would a just and merciful God create Nick Saban,'” said God.

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