Federal Warrants Issued To Obtain Mitt Romney For Murder

The Federal Bureau of Investigation today announced that warrants have been issued for the arrest and questioning of Republican Presidential Nominee Mitt Romney. Sources say the warrants are issued for a possible connection in multiple murders that took place over the last couple of decades. The murder investigation is in connection to Romney’s tenure at Bain Capital, in which he made a profit in the killing of corporations.

F.B.I spokesperson, Donna Greenberg released a statement.

“Mr. Romney is being sought out for questioning in possible involvement of multiple homicides. According to the Supreme Court and Mr. Romney himself, corporations are people. So in that case, his duties at Bain Capital made him a murderer and in a way a “hitman.” He made profit from each murder he committed.”

The Romney camp would not respond to emails sent by Free Wood Post.

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