Mayor Corey Booker’s Secret Identity Revealed, He Is Really Superman

"Corey Booker" "Superman"

The Newark N.J. mayor, known as Corey Booker, has accidentally revealed his true identity in an act of heroism late this past Thursday. Booker leapt into action to save his neighbor, Zina Hodge, from her burning apartment building. Many witnesses interviewed at the scene of the blaze claim they witnessed the mayor temporarily disappear into an oddly out-of-place phone booth and come out as the full-costumed Superman before entering the home and following through with the dramatic rescue.

Other accounts describe Booker flying up to the roof and disappearing down the chimney. Through the windows, onlookers watched as he wrestled with and strangled flames with his bare hands. Upon rescuing Ms. Zina Hodge, he promptly retreated to the out-of-place phone booth yet again only to exit, this time, sporting large 1980’s-era eyeglasses, a parted hairdo and far-outdated business vestiture.

Booker, who has quite a history of being an all-around badass, says he’s surprised that no one caught on earlier.

“My tie has a big ‘S’ on it. My underwear has a big ‘S’ on it. My car has a big ‘S’ on it. [I thought that] it was pretty obvious.”

Following this stunt of epic proportions, an attempt was made to reach Booker to get his word on the claims regarding his identity, but to no avail. His secretary also informed us that he will not be available to contact for the next two weeks due to pressure from strict deadlines on his cure for cancer and his essay on the meaning of life.

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