Elderly Woman Stubs Her Toe, Blames President Obama

Edna Nurgenblatt, age 81 of Horseshoe Bend, Idaho was livid Thursday morning as she walked from her bedroom to the kitchen. She is convinced President Obama and his team of special forces came into her home late Wednesday night and moved her dresser four inches to the right resulting in Edna stubbing her toe.

“I woke up as usual, like I do every morning and started on my way into the kitchen to make my morning cup of coffee. Then all of a sudden, out of the blue, my foot walks directly into my dresser. That dresser has been in the same place for over 35 years. I never moved it, so someone else must have. I can guarantee you it was that Socialist, Communist, Marxist, Atheist, Muslim, African Obama…. I know it was. He has teams you know… special forces teams. They’re out to get all of us at some time or other and I guess this morning was my turn. I can’t wait to vote that Kenyan out of office in November. How dare he enter into my home and purposefully move my furniture to cause me bodily harm? You just wait President Obama, you just wait… November is coming and you won’t be able to come after me any more!” 

Edna is a member of her local Tea Party Patriots, and is an avid supporter of both Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann. She’s hoping that Rick Santorum gains the Republican nomination to bring “constitutional conservatism” and “true Christianity” back into the White House.

Sources from the Obama administration deny entrance into Ms. Nurgenblatt’s home claiming they have far better things to do than personally come after everyone that disagrees with the president. They would also never enter into a private citizen’s home without a clear and legitimate purpose, including the proper resources as well as the warrants to do so.

Edna is resting comfortably recovering from her wound, but still seems uneasy about President Obama. She will continue her quest in electing a candidate that will not invade her private space. Rick Santorum is her candidate because she knows he would never enter into a woman’s space without her clear consent.


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