Bra Snaps, Kills 17 Americans

On Oct 8 of this year a tragic accident took the lives of seventeen tourists on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. Investigators have now linked the accident to poorly manufactured outsourced apparel.

Myrna (last name withheld) an Arkansas native was sight-seeing with her husband in Washington D.C. earlier this year. She was descending the steps of the Lincoln Memorial when the underwire in her Bountiful Beauty bra snapped. The wire then stabbed her in the breast causing her to lose her footing.  It was an unusually high tourist traffic day at the Memorial and the steps were packed with tourists.

Myrna lost her balance and tumbled down the steps causing a chain reaction that took out dozens of other tourists.  In all, thirty-two were in injured and seventeen patriotic Americans lost their lives in the senseless tragedy.

One witness had this to say, “It was horrible. She was like a human bowling ball just taking people out right and left.

D.C. investigators have now squarely placed the blame on Bountiful Beauty’s Buxom Belle model bra. Claiming, that substandard metals and stitching caused the horrific incident. Investigator Juan Racine stated, “That metal was a mix of nickel and tin and it just can’t handle that kind of weight.”

The U.S. Company began outsourcing the manufacture of their bras to Malaysia in 2010. The company laid off forty U.S. workers and their books show skyrocketing profits since the change.

Bountiful Beauty as declined to comment on this story.

One police officer who was on the scene when the tragedy occurred had this to say upon hearing the cause, “It was the worse day I’ve ever had on the job. I’ve never seen such carnage. I find it disgusting that an American company would allow this to happen. This is why we have to stop outsourcing and bring the jobs back to America.”

Myrna was lucky and is recovering from her injuries. She has vowed only to buy American made bras in the future.

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