Tuxedo Cats Declare Themselves the ‘James Bonds of the Animal World’

The National Association for the Advancement of Tuxedo Cats, an organization made up entirely of little black and white felines, released a statement on Thursday officially declaring their breed the ‘closest thing the animal world has to a James Bond.’

Dr. Claws von Bulow, a 6 year-old tuxedo cat and spokesman for the NAATC, said that with the abhorrent state most of the animal kingdom exists in – a state lacking in grace, class, or an appearance that fits high society’s most exclusive social functions – it was time for his people to step-up and acknowledge their natural role as murderous, womanizing spies.

“Whether quietly earning the confidence of a Dutch blood diamond launderer or seducing the classiest British lady in the room, my breed excels in ways your typical Norwegian forest cat or Main Coon never could,” said Dr. Claws. “As such, we are not only making ourselves available to our respective countries’ intelligence agencies, but we are announcing the first in a series of James Bond-style films starring one of our own – tux cat Benito Mew-solini.”

Dr. Claws went on to state the first film in the series would contain the fast-paced action and intrigue characteristic of Bond films, but with more dangling string and mouse-chase sequences.

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