Consumer Reports Magazine Shows 100 Percent of Restaurant Chicken Wings Either World Famous or Best in Town

A surprising study appearing next Thursday in Consumer Reports reveals that every chicken wing sold in every North American restaurant over the past 30 years was either World Famous – or voted Best in Town.

The magazine, studying over a thousand different restaurant menus printed between 1980 and 2010, noted every menu entry for Chicken Wings described the offering in one of, what are apparently, the two possible terms.

“At first that may seem a little impossible,” said Dan Hedley, Editor-in-Chief of Consumer Reports, “Well, I mean, ‘World Famous’ is actually plausible – who knows what people in other countries think about our chicken wings?  Maybe they talk about our wings non-stop, like they’re Brangelina or something.  But for so many wings to be voted Best in Town, I was a little skeptical at first.”

Fact checkers at Consumer Reports called over 200 locations that described their wings as ‘Best in Town,’ and were shocked to discover that every restaurant and bar was able to verify that at some point, their chicken wings were considered the best by the local townspeople.

“Apparently,” said Hedley, “if your wings get voted the best just once, you get to say so on your menu and indicate that people still think they’re the best, which is kinda neat.  And I think some newspapers let you be the ‘number one wing location’ if you purchase the top ad spot in their publication.  Also, you can hold your own contest, and only have your wings entered into it, so you’re guaranteed to win.”

“So… hmpf.  Guess that explains it.”

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