Many Republicans Admit They ‘Chose To Be Heterosexual’


Many conservative Republicans will be the first to tell you that homosexuality is a lifestyle choice. Well as it turns out, this seems to be true for a lot of them. However, most of them seem to have overwhelmingly made the choice to be heterosexual.

When asked about his “lifestyle choice” Sen. Jim DeMint (R-SC) gave the following statement, “I knew for a long time that eventually I would have to make that decision, it wasn’t until I was in college that I experimented with the heterosexual lifestyle. It was then that I knew I would have to break down and tell my parents that I was indeed straight.”

Catching up with GOP Presidential contender Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) on the campaign trail she said, “I looked at several options when growing up. It wasn’t until I met Marcus that we made that decision together as a couple.”

Speaker of the House John Boehner (R-OH) stated that he thought about becoming homosexual until he found himself becoming more and more drawn to women. He said, “I just couldn’t make up my mind, it was such inner torment that I finally had to admit it to myself that I am heterosexual… I don’t even like using that word.”

House Majority Leader Rep. Eric Cantor (R-VA) simply said, “I made that decision when I was a teenager. At first I thought it was the hormones talking, but then I knew that it was the correct choice to make for me. I like women.”

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) said only this, “My choices are my business, and I do my business in making choices, and that was an easy one for me.” When asked to elaborate on his statement he mumbled, “I chose to be straight a long time ago… end of story.”

Many other Republicans have yet to make a statement regarding their choices because some of them are still “on the fence” about making a definitive decision.

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