Supporter Accidentally Spills Water On Congresswoman Bachmann, Causing Her To Melt

A picture of Congresswoman Michele Bachmann (R-MN) shows her agonizing last minutes of life.

Congresswoman Michele Bachman (R-MN) attended a campaign breakfast today in Northern California. The event was attended by supporters and campaign staffers, but during the event congresswoman Bachmann had an unfortunate accident.

An overzealous supporter, explaining to Bachmann how grateful she is to Bachmann for standing up to “socialistic insurance for freeloading veterans,” got a little bit too enthusiastic and began wildly swinging her arms around while talking to the Congresswoman.

What happened next can only be described as a “tragic accident.” While swinging her arms around wildly, supporter Betty Jean Malarkey inadvertently smacked a glass of water with the side of her hand. The incident sent water flying out of the glass, covering the congresswoman’s face and other parts of her body.

The reaction from the Congresswoman was immediate. Her face began to melt and smoke, as did the rest of her body, and she began to shriek in agony. As she began to melt, Bachmann stated:

“Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!! You cursed brat! Look what you’ve done!! I’m melting, melting. Ohhhhh, what a world, what a world. Who would have thought that some little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness. OHHHHHHH!!! NO!!! I’m going…ohhhhhhh..ohhhhhhhhhhhhh….”


The only thing left was a pile of the Congresswoman’s clothes.

Marcus Bachmann made the following statement after the incident:

“While we are all saddened by the loss of my super fabulous wife, we must honor her wishes. In honor of my wife I will continue the “Bachmann 2012″ campaign myself. Since she had already planned out her campaign attire I’ll wear all her super amazing and fabulous outfits for the duration of the campaign, and continue to go around reminding everyone why a Bachmann in the White House would be super awesome fabulous! We have to get the big silly barbarian out of the White House immediately, girlfriend.”

He then snapped his finger 3 times and walked away from the podium.

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