Family Reveals Donald Rumsfeld Now Only Able To Answer Questions He Asks Himself

Donald Rumsfeld’s family confirmed today what many people close to the former Defense Secretary have suspected for years: Rumsfeld suffers from a progressively debilitating illness that is gradually preventing him from answering anyone’s questions but his own.

Several pundits speculated throughout his run as Defense Secretary that Rumsfeld’s characteristic response to a question – rephrasing it in a simpler fashion that twisted its original meaning – was a tactic to avoid directly answering difficult queries. It appears the unfortunate truth is that he was mentally less-and-less able, as time went on, to answer any question he had not personally posed.

Speaking on Wednesday to the Associated Press by telephone, Rumsfeld asked himself in a self-conducted interview if he was happy with his current medical situation, and after pausing momentarily, responded with “Of course not.” Following up by wondering aloud if there was anything he could do about it, Rumsfeld answered “I don’t think so.” Quickly finishing the interview by questioning whether he was a hero for battling this disease so courageously, the former Defense Secretary said he “couldn’t speak to that point, but [was] honored it was suggested.”

Noting that multiple public speakers in recent years – from politicians to professional sports coaches – had adopted a similar ‘Ask Myself a Question That’s Different but Easier Than the One I Was Really Asked’-style of speech, several researchers have suggested the disease, tentatively labeled RADs, or Rumsfeld’s Accidental Dodge, may be spreading.

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