God To Endorse The Green Party

In a decision that seems to have baffled everyone, God has decided to endorse the lesser known Green Party. This selection seems to be coming on the heels of several statements made by Republican Party candidates, that He “wanted them to run for office” to save the nation. God doesn’t seem to want anyone speaking for Him, and He has made this quite clear in a publication that has been very popular throughout the years, ‘The Bible.’

God (aka The Lord), has made it clear through His inspired written work that He wants no one to bear false witness, nor use His name in vain. He has also made it quite clear that money cannot buy love, happiness, or your way into heaven. Rather He makes it quite clear, that everyone should love their neighbors as themselves, take care of those in need, as well as take care of the planet He has put a lot of time and effort into. The Lord has been sickened by this public defamation of His name by certain politicians, as well as their animosity towards other humans, and the earth.

It seems that God doesn’t like excessive pollution, people dying from lack of healthcare, nor having the inability to succeed in life due to poor educational standards. He also does not like capitalistic corporations running the lives of His people. He would prefer individuals be in charge of their own lives, and have the ability to elect officials that represent their needs, instead of the needs of those only thirsty for profit. He also sees war as utterly useless, when hundreds of thousands of people die for a reason that is yet to be determined. He also stands against the death penalty (He lost a child once that was wrongfully accused). God also hates when people judge one another, and throw stones in His name. All of these factors have led up to this endorsement, because He sees a way of life most represented by His words in the Green Party.

The Lord has made it very clear that He wants healthcare for all, strict environmental standards to protect the earth from harmful toxins, and He is a strong proponent of social justice, as well as action through non-violent means. He tried a long time ago to send his Son, but it was to no avail. People still refused to listen to His words. His Son died a gruesome death for the ultimate act of social justice, for everyone else… because He cared that much.

The Green Party accepts God’s endorsement with open arms. However, they are choosing not to exploit His approval because that would go against what the endorsement stands for in the first place. With this new endorsement God is hoping that other parties will follow suit, and take on some of the issues that matter most to Him. This is after all, “God’s Green Earth.”


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